Pondering Raine

After returning from FaithQuest, I found that I am inspired to talk to people even more. I hardly stepped out of my youth group to reach out to others, but I barely knew anyone in my youth group anyway. I got to know two people better, much better, and I had a blast. I will try to make my weekend mission now into a goal instead. This seems better, because, as it seems, I think I don't have enough goals in life.

That aside... This week has been kind of hard for me. I went to spend the night at a friend's house, and it really helped because of how down I was starting to feel. Me and my friend, we really got to talk more about what's on our minds. We're both kind of frustrated. In particular, I'm frustrated because I'm unsure what I should do. I've thought a lot about dating/marriage (not that I'm planning on getting married soon or anything), and I know I should choose a guy that has his strengths my weaknesses so that when the time comes, we can face most anything together. This is a difficult thing for me... Frankly, I'm glad my mom and dad have said that I cannot date until I'm 16. This gives more time to think things through, but with school coming up, who knows if I'll be able to think properly.

Another thought on my mind is school. School starts on the 20th for me, and I'm just scared at the moment. I've never had this feeling before when I start going to a new school. Perhaps it's that I'm doing college courses. Perhaps it's simply my English class that scares me. Or perhaps it's the people I'm going to be around that scares me. Whatever the reason is, I hope I will calm myself soon enough. Band and choir is also starting soon, which is a big yay for me. I love music. Although, that reminds me... I need to practice my flute.

Some of this is probably just little stuff in my head, but I need to sort things out. Putting it into writing really helps. The pondering Raine sometimes thinks too much. I suppose sometimes it's good to think things through a lot, but probably not to the extent that I do. It's taking practice to not overthink things so much. I still sometimes take the littlest things that mean nothing and somehow change them into something that brings me down. Ah well, it takes a while to change. Well, that's all I have to say right now. Thanks for reading :)